The job often sucks
Even for those of us who love it
We are not appreciated by anyone outside of our profession
We hold more lives in our hands in one average shift than a medical doctor does in his whole career
Pilots don't understand us
or even listen sometimes
but they rely on us to save their asses when they need us
and will probably never say thank you
Everything we say is recorded
We have to be prepared to defend every word we say in a court of law should the unthinkable happen
We are responsible for knowing more rules than humanly possible
Those rules are subject to daily change
We can't imagine doing any other job
We carry around in our heads the equivalent amount of data as the average metropolitan phone book
We don't have time to look anything up
We aren't allowed to make mistakes
We don't have a God complex
We are Gods
We receive more training than physicians
We can't make our "clients" wait in a waiting room until we're ready for them
We are always in control
We control everything in our environment
This affects our personal life in ways that a non-controller cannot fathom
Our spouses will never understand us
or what we do
We can't bring the job home
But it is always with us
We all have crash dreams
We will control traffic in our sleep
We never have to worry about a foot-high inbox when we come into work
We can't put an airplane back in the inbox to deal with later
We take extreme pride in the quality of our work, no matter how negatively the FAA, the media and some politicians portray us
No, you can not imagine the stress
We aren't able to tolerate a read-back error at a drive thru restaurant
Indecision is unacceptable in any scenario
We didn't invent the "Mooney spike" but we see the effects of it every day
We don't get bathroom breaks whenever we need them
We learn to hold it until we get a break
There is always something that needs to be done right now
We have a lack of tolerance for miscommunication
We get grumpy when we don't have enough airplanes to keep us busy
We get grumpy when we have too many
We are the only ones who know where we draw this invisible line between the two
We love gallows humor
When we retire, we will seek out, socialize with, and keep close friendships with other controllers
They are still the only people who come close to understanding us or are willing to put up with us
We get to retire "early"
But most of us wont live more than ten years after retirement
We expect people to say what they mean and mean what they say
Everything in life is either black or white
there is no gray
We can drink a hotel bar dry in about two hours.
We use anticipated separation when we drive
We can't understand people who don't know how to calculate speed differences to hit gaps on the highway
There is something "off" about ALL of us
We all want children to have "normal" lives and "normal" jobs
But we are so proud when they choose to become controllers themselves
We are not allowed to treat our depression or anxiety with FDA-approved medicine
Or even admit out loud that we suffer from either
We will lose our jobs if we do
But we can drink our weight in Jim Beam
As long as we are at least 8 hours from our next shift
Most of us look 10 yrs older than our age and act 10 yrs younger
We know all the different variations of the word "stress"
We are drawn to extremely dangerous pastimes
We will eventually be on blood pressure medication
We don't know what normal sleep patterns are
We're not allowed to use sleep aids
We work in the middle of the night
and on Christmas
and weekends
and your birthday
We will never have "normal" days off
We will never have a regular social life
We can't participate in our kids' school activities
We know that our worth isn't reflected by our position in the FAA or our rank in the military
A newly-checked out controller who can move metal will always have more of our respect than a member of management or a highly ranked officer who can't separate two flies with a screen door
Our friends won't understand that we can't just leave work
or get off work
or stop thinking about work
We are not "Disney-friendly"
People think that we are the guys on the ramp with the flashlights
and that we get to fly for free
We make more money than you do
But you have the house
and the cars
and the vacation home
and the time with your family
We have the clothes, the watch, the sunglasses and the attitude
We are fluent in three languages: English, Acronyms and Cursing
We speak all three simultaneously and loudly
Controller candy comes in two flavors: TUMS and Ibuprofen.
When a cold or flu strikes we just suck it up 'cause we can't take otc cold medication without being medically disqualified
We are brutally, ridiculously, ruthlessly hard on each other
We have thick skin
We will be the last person a pilot talks to on this earth
We will hear the terror in his voice
We will calmly use every tool we have to bring him down safely
We will hear his screams when we can't
We will never forget it
We will relive it again and again
We will go right back to work the next day and do it again
We aren't allowed to cry
When one of us fails we will laugh at him
When one of us succeeds we won't acknowledge it
We don't have time to pat ourselves or each other on the back
We have vectoring to do
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